Build your habits

If you do things with good intentions, you’re not just wanting not to harm or disturb other people but you’re also taking care of the whole YOU. Do something for yourself that will make you improve your skills, body, or relationships. Do things that makes you feel yourself. Make changes if you must. See other perspective and apply only if it matches your personality. Understand your struggles, miseries, and mistakes. Accept them and try to figure out how to solve but don’t think of it too much. I know it’s really hard but you need to keep going. You need to breath and stand up for yourself. Create instead of destroying yourself. Simply keep going.

Working Slow But Productive

As the years, days and minutes passes by. I am struggling why I wasn’t doing so good as what my other friends were. I’m pointing out all my flaws, telling myself that I was too inconsistent and I easily get distracted. This year I promised myself too many things and I am worried that I won’t be able to do them again but atleast now I am trying to do these things. Starting to learn investing in the stock market by experiencing it even I wasn’t really earning much because of very low buying power. Maybe I’ll share my investing experience next time as I am already aware of it about 5 years ago but it’s just recently that I completely gained interest again in learning the techniques and understanding the stock positions. I think I wasn’t pushing myself too hard that I’m only doing things too slow and I feel that I was just doing fine. I am trying to improve my mental health and trying my best to improve my connections to the important people in my life.

Working slow but productive

As year, days and minutes passes. I am struggling why I wasn’t doing so good as what my other friends were. I’m pointing out all my flaws that I was too inconsistent and I easily get distracted. This year I promised myself too many things and I am worried that I won’t be able to do them again but atleast now I am trying to do these things. Starting to learn investing in stock market by experiencing it even I wasn’t really earning much since you won’t feel how much you earn if your buying power is low. Well, I’ll share my investing experience next time but I am already aware of it about 5 years ago but it’s just recently that I completely gained interest in learning the techniques and understanding the stock positions. I think I wasn’t pushing myself too hard that I’m only doing things too slow and I’m so behind but I think it was just fine that I am protecting my mental health and trying my best to improve my connections to the important people in my life. I hope that I am just doing good though I believe that I am doing just fine.

There’s always a new beginning

I didn’t expect 2020 will show new starts for me. I have been looking for a lot of opportunities to support my college fees and I actually found few but the pay wasn’t enough or it it maybe enough but I doesn’t fit on my class and study schedule. It was really hard specially for an average engineering student like me whose not as intelligent and fast learners as others. It was frustrating. My 2018 was a difficult transition since my father lost his job in Saudi because his contract ended and the management decided not to renew some of the Filipino employees there. So, from there I started to find part time jobs from Student Assistantship to Company Autocad Operator until now I’m on an Online English Tutoring. I started tutoring in January 2018 and It was fine whenever I wasn’t able to save or earn money for every new term I would ask help from my relatives and I was lucky that I have relatives that trusts and will give enough help that they could give. Now, I’m proud to write that I’m finishing my college life and take my board exam in August 2019. Although, I am still facing some problems, I could tell that I can handle it now. 2018 was a lot of painful and frustrating memories but it’s done and I’ve moved on. I am actually happy that it happened as early as now. The depression I’ve experienced was uncontrollable but I didn’t lose my hopes and perspective to finish what I wanted. Everyday or everyweek I will find simple things or signs that I should keep going. There were actually times that I already wanted to give up studying and take full time on my job to be able to provide food and apartment payment for my father and grandpa but then again I was so lucky to see that my father tries his best to find a job of any kind even it is a low paying job until he found a job with earning just enough to pay for everything. Now, I’m in my last term and saving money for the upcoming fees when I take the board exam.

I am writing this because I am happy and proud of the choices I made and experiences I had. Life isn’t always sweet stuff but it’s a mix of different flavors. We need cherish to these experiences and accept it then we figure out how to solve it so we become more open and stronger than before. I am okay that I wasn’t able to graduate in 2018 because I was able to earn more and reduce the suffering of where to find money for the graduation fees, board exam fee, food and other necesities. I think we were destined to experience the sufferings to remind us that we need to choose ourselves and what is better for us. It is meant to happen to because we weren’t ourselves anymore and we needed to reconnect our mind and body in order to make our perspective intact. It is okay to accept the fact that you in the progress of reaching your goal that all includes frustration, pain, confusion, doubts and the urge to give up but remember to add different ingredients and learn how much of it that you add on the process these are keeping in contact with your real friends, spending time with your family, and giving time for yourself (I don’t know if it actually made sense). I just want to say that life will hit you so hard that it’s like you already wanted to just stop and maybe restart, all you have to do is to accept that it is difficult but you try to be as tough as you can so that you can keep going and be still on you own track.

To my fellow 20+ year old, always do good and every effort and hardships that you’ve been going through will surely pay off. Never stop chasing that one goal you’ve been praying for and make the best choice for you even if sometimes you’re not sure if you’re doing the right thing but remember that if you’re wrong make sure to find solutions to it but giving up or stopping is not one of them. I haven’t reach my ultimate goal yet but I’m sure that I am on my way there.

This is too personal for me but I’m going to post it anyway because I want to read this again few months from now if I achieved one of my goal. Yeaah!

65 Days Ago

I started focusing on gaining my self confidence and being myself again and feeling alive again. I started doing yoga and leg toning exercises even I don’t know if I’m doing it right. De-cluttered and organized all my things, removed things that doesn’t give value to me. Even I’m still in progress on building my best self, I’m loving all the improvements I’m having and whenever I go back to feeling lazy and sad when something happened, I just listen to inspiring podcasts because I feel that I need to surround myself with things that inspire me and also I write on my journal every single day although there are days that I just write 1 sentence but still feel good after.I’m loving it and I don’t see myself stopping any of these things.

Here’s my favorite photos which is the latest shoot we had earlier.

I’m back!

Hello guys!

It’s been awhile and a lot of stuff happened and I don’t have anything to share or I don’t feel to. Months ago, I felt extremely down and stagnant and don’t know what to do or what to think. So I listened to different podcasts and watched inspiring videos and it actually helped. Although, I’m still struglling until now, all the things i’ve watched and heard makes me feel fine and also exercising or doing yoga helped me release all the tension in me.

Well, it’s my 65th day of doing yoga and I’m proud of myself. I hope I have yogi friends here too. Come on!

I enjoyed too much today. Forgot all the painful problem I’ve been going through. Now I realized I need to move and plan ahead to finish everything on my goal list this year. Let’s go!!! We can do this.

FUN

I’m loving my stretch poses yey!

So, I’ve been practicing some stretches and handstand the past few days and I guess practice do realshit progress. Wait, first of all, why am I doing this? Well, I just want to and also since I also like taking some pictures and also my boyfriend helps me do it. Sometimes, there are photos that needs a subject and it’ll be fun if I can do something like jumps and splits for them and also I have the love for flexibility since the old times. Hope ya’ll appreciate it. Ciao!